audition

I took to Boston on Thursday night for several auditions; one for a summer opera chorus and the other for a two-on-a-part b minor Mass. I feel like because of the move and because of poor business sense on my part my Christmas season was a little light. I was so excited to perform with Hamilton College Oratorio Society that the bug bit and I just wanted more. I feel so comfortable on the concert stage- without the costumes, lights, stage diretions, acting... it's hard to act in one way when I want the music to do everything for me. But to sing with an orchestra, other soloists...it is you and the composer (and the conductor, of course). I also feel like my voice is at its most optimum in a concert setting. Opera is fun...but for some reason in my soul it just does not feel as right.

Even to watch certain musical concerts will give me spiritual indication of what I should be pursuing as a singer. After my auditions and gallivanting around the City (the Brownstones...the Christmas lights...) I attended Handel & Haydn Society's Baroque Christmas concert. What a joy to listen to! Praetorius, Bach, Schütz...it just makes a whole lot of sense in my body. The internal dance and communal harmonies be them beautifully consonant or hauntingly dissonant, of late-Renaissance and baroque music. A terrific continuo team. The Bach arias... music that just makes sense and feels right.

Today is more catch up and health exams. Tonight I'll attend Arcadia's "Messiah" in Northampton. Tomorrow I drive to Providence, RI to catch a flight to Chicago for the string of workshops and concerts with Jayson at his church in Longwood. This is what I want in my life and it does not matter be it conducting, singing, clinics or songwriting. I want to go to many places and spread my interpretations of all kinds of music. I smile widely writing this entry because my possibilities are endless. There is so much more music to learn and to write.

2010 was a whirlwind year. I made the most money singing as I ever have. I sang professionally for the first time. I graduated with a Master's Degree and am in pursuit of another. I also watched younger singers than I transform their voices into what they never thought they could. My sister is engaged and the family dynamic is going to be so different...and better. Quarter century and definitely not feeling like "The Kid" anymore. Huge dose of humble pie and acceptance. Exploring new musical possibilities. Fell in love with everything. Made amends with most. How can I not be thankful for all the wonderful opportunity and wonderful people? Old mentors and new visionaries for me...never ever want to stop.

2011 the personal transformation continues. And there will be great calm and peace.