Gesualdo

In the last two weeks I discovered when my heart was happiest - when I was making intelligent music with some of the smartest people I have ever met.

Yesterday I was in an ensemble singing Bach motet "Singet dem Herrn, ein neues Lied" ... and we danced. Nobody cared what they looked like. Nobody cared about beat patterns. Nobody cared about being "correct." We just sang, shaped, and danced. And sang really briskly without being heavy. Or worrying about whether we were loud enough and if our own voices could be heard like our solo voice was the only thing that mattered. We only cared about the words. And Bach. And dancing. And we danced. And when we finished there wasn't a person on that stage not smiling- whether it be due to relief or sheer joy. It was so electrifying. When the pretense drops - and academia only goes so far as style - and not politics... being musical with fellow musicians is the best feeling in the entire world. Especially when the musicians feel exactly the way you do...they inspire a more intelligent, emotionally-connected, less egocentric, sensitive performance. Just...it is when you meet the love of your life there is no question. It just is. This is exactly how I felt yesterday.

Yesterday also featured works from Campra, Fasch...the other choir sang Purcell's "Remember Lord, not, Our Offenses"- riveting. To watch Ivars conduct...it just makes so much sense. He makes it look so natural! So connected. It is because to him it is natural. Words are as much a part of him as his arms are.

The stirring feeling of everyone after that concert was unlike anything I'd experienced since, well, I am not really sure when...Amherst Societatis-Oratorio's performance of Gloria in April definitely evoked elements of this sentiment, certainly. From players, singers, continuo team members, conductors, audience...everyone. There was no sense of doubt, or self-deprecation, or exhaustion, or bitterness, or judgment. It was just love. For each other and for music. And that infectious energy transferred into the other day's rehearsals as well. Quintets of Gesualdo madrigals, prior to yesterday had difficulty lining up, but yesterday it clicked. And the celebration and second emotional high after that rehearsal was, again, something I will never forget. The music is SO INTENSE, and then you hit the final cadence, and then you start jumping for joy because it worked! I LOVE IT. This is what music should be about! Grueling to learn but so euphoric when it is right and with feeling. And integrity. Honesty. Foresight. Selflessly.

Selflessness in music is something that I need to discover more of. And this epiphany happened in Toronto this summer. Like Gerald used to tell me, and was so right, "music isn't about you." Because of the state of the business and beast it is almost impossible not to make it about you. But when one gives...it really does make a difference.

Speaking of Gerald, he is coming to Toronto to hear one of the chamber concerts this afternoon. Always a pleasure to see he and Shinobu!

Last night were the Tony Awards. I will spare my thoughts [other than, "Duh"] as I will be guest contributing to Media Overload about it later in the week. I sat in the hotel lobby for three hours on a hard chair watching the event while high school kids gathered at a table behind me, critiquing dance routines and loving "Book of Mormon." I need to see this when I'm in New York City this weekend. Fat chance of that happening.

A needle was found in a head of lettuce today. This according to CP24. Yesterday was too difficult to navigate around due to the Taste of Toronto festival which took place right in front of the FOM. What to do? Eat cheese rolls at the Whole Foods Christina showed me. Yes, free samples, of course. Funny, they were raffling a Fiat 500 at the event. If I won, the raffle organizers explained, I would need to ship the car myself.

Lame.

Anyone want to buy a Toyota Yaris? I may ship the damn car.

One week and I'll be on a plane to Melbourne. Dear God...it's here.

But I do not want to ever leave TBSI.